PHOEBE
Phoebe was referred for mentoring after her parents separated. She was presenting as very upset at school and told teachers that she was finding ‘having to be strong for her mum’ very difficult.
The mentoring offered Phoebe a space to share her worries, feelings and pressures. She explained how she was feeling constantly anxious about her mum being very upset following the break-up of her relationship with Phoebe’s dad and that Phoebe had experienced panic attacks. Our mentor helped Phoebe to identify unhelpful automatic thoughts and learn to challenge or put these to the side of her mind. We also showed her breathing exercises and helped her find things that calmed and soothed her.
During the course of the work, Phoebe shared that her mum had been drinking a lot of alcohol from the start of the day and Phoebe did not know when she got home from school whether her mum would be asleep or angry or crying. It also came to light that Phoebe’s mum was going out in the evenings with friends and leaving Phoebe at home on her own until very late or early in the morning several times each week. We supported Phoebe to communicate with her teachers and her mum about this and the negative impact it was having on Phoebe. We also connected Phoebe’s mum with counseling for herself.
Very positively, Phoebe’s mum recognised the negative impact of the situation upon Phoebe, accepted support for herself and demonstrated to Phoebe that she wanted to support and care for her. The difference this made to Phoebe was notable in school and in her mentoring sessions. She was visibly more relaxed, was no longer tearful and said she no longer felt she was solely responsible for her mum. She said she felt glad that her mentoring sessions had led to her mum getting help from others and to she and her mum spending time together doing nice things again like going shopping and getting their nails done together. She said “my mentor cared about me and now my mum really cares too.” Her YP-Core measure of emotional distress decreased from 25 to 13 over the course of 15 weekly mentoring sessions.
*Names have been changed and models have been used to protect the identity of young people.